Copenhagen computation: How I learned to stop worrying and love Bohr

To celebrate the 60th birthday of Charles H. Bennett, I 1) publicly announce my referee reports for the original dense coding and teleportation papers, 2) present a very economical solution to the Bernstein–Vazirani problem that does not even hint at interference between multiple universes, and 3) describe how I inadvertently reinvented the Copenhagen interpretation in the course of constructing a simple, straightforward, and transparent introduction to quantum mechanics for computer scientists.